Everyday as women, especially black women, we are set to unreasonable standards. Too thick, too skinny, too much ass, not enough ass, etc. the list can go on for days. And with the images that are put out in the media, especially in music videos and mens magazines, it is easy for one to feel as if they don't measure up to society's standard of beauty.
Man, the inner struggle i go through with food is something wicked. I have finally given up on all crash diets, and quick weight loss methods and decided that i am gonna do it the right way. Now, don't get me wrong, i have slimmed down some after deciding that i could no longer go on in this impostors body, i must taken control and claim back what's mine. Honestly , i think I'm pretty damned sexy, and many women would be happy to be the size i am now, it's just that spending my entire childhood, teenage, and early adult years as an athlete I'm uncomfortable in the skin i'm in. People say, "just lose the weight" that's easier said than done, if losing weight was easy, the weight loss industry wouldn't be a billion dollar industry .. I'm just sayin. Now even as an adult, when i stopped playing sports i gained a bit of weight and lost it back, and fell in love with these new found curves. With measurements of 36c-28-40 i was slim in all the right places, and thick in others. Then i got my first desk job, and i let my body go to shit. Now, don't get me wrong the pay is good, and i love the hours and schedule flexibility, but honestly, my job is so damned mentally draining that i find it hard to do anything but want to crash out on the sofa after a hard day of selling out to the man.
I've joined a few gyms, and started out great, everyone would be like "Oh E, girl you slimming down right! " and i would take extreme pleasure in my progress and reward myself with sugary goodies and fried delights. Now, I'm a southern girl through and through, and there is nothing more that i love than a big ol plate of fried chicken or pork chops, with some made from scratch mashed potatoes, some fried okra, some baked mac and cheese, some cornbread.. . man i could go on and on about this.. which reminds me, i just got through working out, and i have indeed made myself hungry lol. However, I shall remain steadfast on my course of weight loss and instead of going in the kitchen to fix myself a snack, i will continue to bleed my "thick girl's blues" out through this here blog. And yes, i am thick, not fat, some girls don't know the difference, i am not one of them lol, even with the weight game genetics played a great role in making sure it went to all the right places (thanks grandma ) .
Now we shall do the reverse before and after pics lol.
This is me in 2006-2007
sigh it breaks my heart to look at this, i was still in thepursuit of my flat stomach i had when i was playing ball,
but over all i was happy. this was in the fall of 2006.
now this one was when i first started to pick upmy weight in the beg of 2007, i was still happy at
that size, but i just let the control slip away. i
got caught up in my relationship, working,
partying, and just down right trying to maintain
in this crazy world we live in, and my fitness and
physical well being slipped to the bottom of my list.
And here we go in 2
008 ...a considerable difference from the two above, at this time
i first began trying "quick weight loss" solutions,
i swear i have loss and regained the same 10-15lbs
at least four times.
And Finally the summer of 2009
I have slimmed down some since this pic was taken,but it was one of the more recent full body shots.
I have here laid out the evidence and hold myself
accountable for the goals i have let slip through
my fingers like sand .
It's hard to be the same person in a new body, I had to completely revamp the way i dress, pretty much change everything about the way i carry myself. Before i would look through club pics and just make sure i didn't post ones where my drunk face wasn't completely out of order, now i have to make sure i don't think i look "fat". And the previous friends i kept around would never hesitate to say "Oh girl you used to have them coke bottle curves," and when i would shoot a dirty look in their direction , a feeble attempt to retract the statement would be made by uttering some bullshit like "At least you still got your shape."
Now, I have an awesome support system around me, my family, friends, and twitta fam, hold me down, and don't give negativity. I just feel that since i have never had to deal with being overweight in my life until the past two years, i should document my journey so that when i reach my goal weight, i will never let it slip away from me again. I miss being able to wear a bikini with confidence, or being able to go into any store and get whatever i wanted off the rack, i have had to scale back on some of the trends because they no longer fit my body type.
My weight loss goal is extremely ambitious, i want to lose 60lbs in about 4 to 5 months. Now i know for this to happen, it will take extreme dedication. I have revamped the way i shop for groceries, and i am completely cutting fast food out for the next few months. Now with this 60 lb weight loss goal, it takes me far beyond my weight of 2006-2007 to what i feel would be an ideal weight for me to feel my personal best. Now will i share my current weight with you, in a later post sure, also with pics and progress updates of my measurements, since i put in on the net, I'm going all in. I will also share what workouts and diet methods work best for me throughout my journey, and i will be sure to give constant updates on progress of attaining "The Body Beautiful"
While you are here don't hesitate to peruse my poetry .
3 comments:
While I can never convince anyone of this but myself I still think all of this should be done from a purvey of regaining healthy and physical ability instead of looks. Do those and the looks will just come with it naturally. You were an athlete you know how to train. Just do it again. Modified.
By the way...I just want to say one thing. Black women of all the women in the western world have the largest variety of body types that are acceptable and sexy. Black people love curves so much that the skinny cousin in the black family is likely to be more body conscious than the girl that's 150 lbs overweight. Be you but DON'T think that the video ho is the beginning and end of what numerous black people find aesthetically appealing. It's more of a being able to wear what you have well kind of thing.
1st pic could get it! *lol*
haha you re'tard
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